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If you think you’ve had a bad date, remember, it can always get worse.
Today R. and T. made ultramoist double-chocolate brownies and coffee ice cream. Life is amazing. (This is the photo of the unsweetened chocolate and butter beginning to melt in the double boiler.)
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R. got a Blackberry this week and our BBM conversations have been out of control.
First off, we don’t have the whole conversation saved, but R. and T. were talking about how R’s university’s cafe was just shut down for 79 healthcode violations. T’s friend worked in a cafe and says she was told by a health inspector that 4 pieces of rat feces found in a restaurant is okay but 5 gets you a health-code violation. R. messaged T. to say:
R: ‘I mean, I expect rats to be in every restaurant, so I just pretend they’re all like the rats from Ratatouille.’
To which T. laughed out loud.
So T. subscribes to Bust magazine and the latest issue is the food issue. There’s a recipe for banana split whoopie pies. It calls for a cup of marshmallow fluff. T. went to the supermarket at 11pm on Thursday after class to buy ingredients. She’s trying to buy things on a budget and noticed that 8oz of Fluff cost $1.99 and 16oz of Fluff cost $2.19, so she obviously bought the bigger one. She never put it away after unpacking it on the coffee table to show R.
Fast-forward to today at 11:18am and this is what R. awoke to, when at a friend’s house, still a little drunk from last night:
T: I left our place this morning with marshmallow fluff on my chin. I think I have a problem.
T:Yes, a tablespoon of marshmallow fluff for breakfast is a super bad idea. At least I realized before I locked the apartment door on my way to the Greenmarket!
R: Did you remember the compost?
T: Yes, heading there now!! Except I may have left one more bag of compost in the freezer, but everything else (including the dying tulips), I have with me.
R: I bet there’s so much room in the freezer for ice cream now!!
T: A little bit. :)
R: All I want to do is lay on the couch and eat ice cream all day.
T: Good, because I’m making brownies.
T: OMG skinny jeans and crocs??? FBD!
R: hahaha, are we abbreviating that now? It’s perfect. Or as Lynn and I say, ‘NAGL’, Not A Good Look.
*FBD is short for FutureBadDecisions, in case you didn’t get that.
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So R. got home after supporting her friend’s trial run as a bartender to find T. hanging out on the couch watching Rachel Maddow. Secretly, T. was waiting for R . to get home so they could raid the homemade strawberry chocolate chip ice cream together.
R. suggested they watch the two latest podcast episodes of ‘Vows’ and eat” ice cream, T. was all for it, especially when they agreed to just eat it out of the tupperware container with spoons and not have to do dishes later.
After Vows and a little giggling about Purim and OkCupid profiles, R. said:
'Speaking of clown cars…'
To which T. said ‘Wait, are we talking about clown cars or vaginas?’
So here’s the backstory…
Our Inwood Hermit friend Adam tweeted the photo below yesterday, which was great because R. and T. had just watched ‘19 Kids and Counting’ (maybe 20, we’re not really sure) the night before.
So then R. and T. are in a giggling fit and then R, through giggles, says ‘Did you know your vagina is also a suitcase and wallet??’
And then showed me this hilarious line from The Hairpin:
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So T. bought the worst old lady Easter candy today. It tastes like a giant jelly bean filled with “marshmallow” gone wrong in every possible way you think it would. She convinced R. to try one but she could only eat half of it.
5 minutes later…
R: I couldn’t even finish the whole thing.
T: We’ve reached a new low.
R: Why? Because I couldn’t finish eating candy and we know that never happens?
T: No! Because I thought you left the other half on the couch for safekeeping.
Moral of the story: Don’t buy this candy.
…T got home in one piece. She’s alive. More later, we promise.
Can someone please explain what is going on? Also where would one adopt a dog with a bowtie? Do they make cat bowties?
So many questions!
T: “Wait what were we going to blog about?”
R: “You are going to join the ‘future bad decisions club!”
T: “Oh! Right!”
So…T. is rejoining the world of internet dating after a bit of a hiatus. And has found a ‘gem’ according to R. Something about possibly being murdered on Tuesday.
To be continued…
T. saw these hooks at Anthropologie and decided to buy them for the apartment so we’d have somewhere to hang our coats when we enter our apartment so we don’t end up tossing them on the couch or rocking chair. Super excited!
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